Bed Time

Gotta make this quick before passing out:

-Human cement mixer is not one of my brighter moments.
-Realized I need to lose weight as my wife has pointed out (A) I'm starting to snore (B) my stomach is beginning to look like a face when I sit down and (C) my own discovery that my man-boobs shake when I brush my teeth. I'm gonna go drink some soda and down some pizza while my metabolism is at it's slowest point in the day, right before beddy-bye.

-I really miss working outside with my family. Helped move some wood today. Not the most exhilarating job, but you can stop at the end and see progress.


-I'M HOW FAR BEHIND ON MY COMIC DEADLINE?!

G'night Ya'll

It's Cancerous

DISCLAIMER: *To dispel any concern or confusion, this is not about myself or anyone I know being diagnosed with cancer.*

CLAIMER: *This IS, however, about tanning beds and the new federal taxes.*

Just heard a bit on the good ol' talk radio yesterday about tanning beds being the new taxing realm. We're currently taxed on the biggies like property, income, roads and luxury items...now it's UV rays. What next? Air? That's just me purposefully getting ridiculous. I do find this funny though.

Tanning beds will be incurring a 10% sales tax as a deterrent to use such services. I'd love to touch on the assumed racism of such a tax (as light skinned people are the primary users of said service) but I just start laughing too hard to have the seriousness and intensity of some radio personalities. What I DO want to touch on is a possible cash flow issue that may hinder the income of tanning salons.

Much like other potentially harmful products (cigarettes, alcohol, R-rated movies, etc.) users CHOOSE to accept any possible side-effects. Moderation is defined by the user; up until friends stage an intervention (great show by the way), or the government says "no more". But I digress, my original intent was not to enter the realm of FREE WILL versus GOVERNMENT CONTROL.

Here is the cash issue I was looking at. The government will no receive 10% of what is paid at tanning salons. Okay. Some people use tanning salons as preventative care for a skin condition they might have; and no, paleness is not a pre-existing condition. I already checked. Under the new health care bill, preventative care will be covered. So, Patient A with a skin condition goes to a tanning salon regularly, even has a membership. Their membership is now paid for by the government, 10% of that membership returns to the government to help pay for other medical tanning initiatives (or into someones pocket). Granted that minor loop may not be enough to sink a tanning salon, but what if people get some COMMON SENSE and start using THE SUN!!! I think besides retailers, ski lodges and tropical getaways; tanning salons are the only people making money in the winter months.

Now that even tanning seems to be government regulated, I can just see the raids happening now. Little local shops being turned in for giving someone an extra 5min. for some money under the table. Hemp and coconut oil being brown bagged. People with large pieces of property arrested for tanning farms, allowing people to come lay out on their property for a nominal fee. OH THE HU..mani...ty. This is just plain silly.

Ya know, I don't wanna end up in a road warrior future or be associated with any local militia. I know that we haven't reached "absolute despotism", but I can't help but ponder on the part about "it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security". (That last part is found in our Declaration of Independence.) Maybe that security is not just a physical army, but maybe a fiscal one made up of pencil pushers. Like I said, I don't see us in the middle of a thunder dome situation but we do need to pay more attention. Local elections are coming up this year, get your head in the game and vote.

Remember, "Two men enter. One man is elected to their position of choice."

"I've been South of the Border, but I've never been to Boston in the fall."

Another day has come and gone on the road, a 9 hour work day past, of which 5 were spent driving. Knocked out another 3 service stops that add up to almost $1000 of revenue for the company. Alone in a hotel room, bored and ready to be home. I'd like to be witty and creative, but that just isn't coming right now. So as not to be completely bland here are a couple of thoughts from the day:

-Video baluns are tedious and highly defective.
-How does a 6'5" man fit into a Pontiac Fiero?
Finally, on my way in, I drove past the MULTIPLE South of the Border billboards. I began reading such gems as, well, here...just look:Any ways, I found myself reading each billboard with the voice of Mr. Lunt.That would be Mr. Lunt surrounded by vicious little cheese-curls, to hear the voice I spent most of my ride speaking in, you can find the stylings of Mr. Lunt here.

G'day. Hopefully I'll be home soon. But don't expect any updates anytime as this weekend is my wife's birthday. Yes, the whole weekend is her birthday, turning 25 is a big deal. Catch ya'll on the flipside.

Many Splendid Cereals

Been traveling a bit today. Roughly 460 to be exact. That oxymoron was unintentionally planned. With my bit of time on the road here are some random thoughts, seeing how I can't remember my entire stream of consciousness from a 14 hour day:

-I'd love to start my day earlier, but it helps if a schedule exists before I get to work.
-Communication affects more than just you and the person you're talking with. Ever play telephone?
-My wife deserves so much pampering when I get home.
-I'm sooooo happy I don't live near an air force base.
-Camp Lejune traffic @5pm is 10x worse than that of Atlanta.
-Will this bridge ever end?! I have an awful need to breath.
-HOLY CRAP THAT'S A GIANT CRAB!
-I really wish I could take pictures and drive at the same time.

Those are the random thoughts. Now I will move onto my thoughts of my current location, South Carolina. I don't believe "The Palmetto State" is an apt nickname for this state. More like "The Trashy, Putt-Putt Capitol, Firework Pushing, Watered-Down Soda State" Sadly, that wouldn't fit on a license plate. Seriously, within 2 miles of crossing the state line I passed 15 fireworks shops, 10 Wings (or some variant of cheap beach store), and 2 giant shark mouth doorways. At least it wasn't as monstrous as South of the Border. Well, not until I got to Myrtle Beach. Repossessing a system from a pizza place run by some awesome hippies. They were actually awesome, now if only they fed me. Then going next door, literally next door, to sell one of the repossessed cameras (and make an extra $175 for the day). Alas, that system was full and not able to be added onto. Before I found that out, the owner wanted to argue price with me. Communication is key, just not today apparently.

I was happy to call it a day at 10:15 and head to my hotel, 30 min. away. Stopped to fuel up, by the way, gas is $2.67 down here. I stepped in to get a receipt for my gas and had to take a moment to take in the station attendant. Medium height, gangly, stringy black hair, forearm tattoo, wide eyes, carefully spoken words, and a slight shake (as if he'd eaten too much human flesh). Take what you will from that description. I purchase my 44oz. Big Chill and expect to savor a nice cold coke, but wait it's flat, just like the soda at the pizza place I was at. What is with this place? Can a man not get a fountain soda with some fizz to it?! As I was on my way to my lodging for the night I passed roughly 10 mini-golf courses, with one particular dinosaur one that I must come back for, and 18 or so strip clubs and adult stores. I'm sure that if a bomb went off here and all that was left was a crater, it would be a crater lined with tattered mini-golf decorations, cheap beachwear, hermit crab shells and herpes.

I am happy to report that I survived the night. I was welcomed to my wonderful hotel by a chipper desk clerk, a hot shower (with hotel shampoo that actually left my hair soft) and soft sheets. I will make my way down to a wonderful continental breakfast of many splendid cereals and packaged donuts, hopefully someone will show up at the office a little early this morning so I too can be on my way.

First Sumter, then Florence, then back into NC to lay siege to the Lumberton area with great amounts of customer service and awesomeness.

"Hold on, I have to update my status."

Another late start on a weekend for me. My wife has left for work hours ago and I was well into another sleep cycle. I get up a second time this morning, stretch, shower, check all my networking sites all in an odd silence. It's not one of the ominous "too quiet" moments, just more quiet than usual.

The internet doesn't take my mind off of it, neither does finishing a painting. So I decide to catch up on some blogs I've missed out on over the past few weeks. It was here that I read a nice little description, so fitting to my morning, that made me realize what this quiet was. I'm lonely. The craziest part was getting smacked in the face with, "I'm missing out on so much human interaction simply by missing church." Of course I immediately jump back to facebook and update my status with this realization, must be a defense to not dwell on it. Obviously, I'm dwelling.

It seems I lack the drive to pull a group of people together to do community with. I don't blame it on work as it seems everyone I know has part of their weekends free. I can't say I'm a huge fan of Panera, but if it draws people out, let's meet there. I must veto Starbucks outright though, too pricey.

With the enlightenment of my wife, I will make a list. (In our past 5 1/2 months of marriage she has pointed out, if it's not on a list, I won't do it. I laughed at first, now I see it's true.) These are the people I must make time for:

My Wife
My Parents
My Sister's Family
My Brother, whenever he gets back into the states
Katie, Matt, Kerri, Derek and Maria
Jack and Debbie
Rob and Jennifer
Sheena and Andrew

In light of my late rising morning, and dismissive weeks, I must give more time to the God who first loved me. I've heard many times that our earthly relationships are a reflection of our heavenly relationship. As you can see, I've been missing some people.