Shhhh...It's a Stakeout.

The slow drizzle smacks the pavement, insulting the ground, doing its best gnat imitation. Gnats, really annoying and completely useless. The neon glow of the surrounding restaurants and one bright lamp in barren parking lot. The only cars belong to the desk clerk and my team. We sit our hotel room with the T.V. on as background noise, reruns. My favorite cutie, Abby Shuto, catching my attention from time to time. I fill the time looking over my photography, watching the second computer I have set up in the room and waiting for a signal.

I sip my cola to fight the sleep as I keep an eye on the parking lot. My two older partners are in their own world. One preps his dentures for the night and takes out his contacts as the other stretches out on the bed and letting his chest hair air dry. Now if only I smoked and the world was in black and white, this would be the best comedic noir ever.

Musically Inclined

When I got married I had a pretty high bar set for me, but I knew this when Jess and I were dating. There is a list of things that would make me a more amazing man in the eyes of my wife, so far I've got cooking and an artistic eye. Being a stellar shopping partner comes and goes. Yet there is still room to grow. Improvement points are earned through tasks such as learn a Romantic language fluently; take Jess to Disney World, the Bahamas, California and fishing in Mexico; be a great father (which in itself is a huge life challenge) and I'm sure I'm missing some here...but this list would not be complete without "Learn to Play Guitar".

Now, I'm down with most of the list, and guitar could be fun. But the more I look into the musical world and enjoy the multitude of sounds to be created I'm continually drawn to whines and groaning of the fiddle. Not the proper sound of a violin, but the raw feel of a fiddle. I was tempted to fall more towards a banjo to slightly appease Jess' thoughts of a guitar. Much as I love the twang of a banjo, it's still a bit much for me. Banjo's also seem to be a bit much for anyone unless accompanied by a full band. I also don't have enough space to store a stand-up bass.

I've tried the instrument thing once and never stuck with it. I've never really stuck with much, at all. I'm an activator, I get things started except for parties. I don't get parties started. Sorry P!nk. I have a shelf of started books, very few finished. This is the reason I haven't bought an instrument. I don't want to have that "one more thing" that sits and looks at me saying "Well, at least you tried." I want to hear "Well done! Wasn't that fun? Let's do it again soon." Those are words that I love to hear, not just from the inanimate objects in my life. I love to hear my family and loved ones express joy in activities they share with me, regardless if it was my idea or not. To take on the idea of heaven on earth, these things stir in me a hint of what I really long for.

"Well done my good and faithful servant."

I think I'll start by finishing a current read "Uprising" by Erwin McMannus. Started it months ago. I think it's time to push forward. Jess, I love you, but I may have to set the guitar on the back burner for a bit...assuming you don't hear poorly played versions of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" creaking out from the guest room first.

What we make of it.

It's great to have an enjoyable holiday. With that said, this past holiday has been one of the most memorable for me. This is most likely due to it being recent activity. On top of timeliness, the holidays were filled with great memories.

Christmas was proceeded by much feasting and preemptive gift-giving. The Daniel's Dinner is always fun and Jess missed it due to work. This extended family welcomed a new member, got to share in excitement of future members and enjoy great food. With bellies full secret-santa gifts were handed out as well as the family bloomers, over-sized undies and the snowman winter cap (I'm just gonna try to avoid the dreaded toboggan debate). With wrapping paper and gift bags asunder, a constant grazing of the buffet, and a healthy sugar rush; the kids head out to play on the playground, and a nice round of touch football, while the adults solve the worlds problems and laugh over experiences past. A few of the family members with blood sugar issues slowly slip towards a nice nap, aka "the itis".

Then came dinners with Jess' immediate family and my mom. Enough food in one day to make even Kobiyashi pop. Turkey sausage makes my soul smile and "heavy finger foods" translates to "meatballs and 2 slices of key lime pie". My wardrobe is wonderfully freshened and Snake Eyes has made a return to my life, also, FUSHIGI!!! (Which I am nowhere near mastering.) Jess and I spent all of Christmas day in our pajamas, through all our family stops (which helped my nap at her parents) and even building a snowman at my mom's to top off our "White Christmas". The following morning church was canceled, but not lunch at Grandma's. The family of 23 gathered to fill our stomachs, build snowmen, and start an assembly line for igloo production that would make an Eskimo Henry Ford proud.
The New Year was rung in in bed.

Even after the New Year Jess and I found ourselves at the normal place for our Sunday afternoons, Grandma's. I found myself pulled away from doodling to engage in my newest addiction, Just Dance 2 for the Wii. Competing against four girls I was regularly schooled, I would like to blame some of it on poor wii-mote sensitivity, but I did come in first on "Girlfriend" and "It's Raining Men". I was just happy to win. The rest of the family found great delight in reading into the situation more than necessary.

It's nice to reflect back on this holiday season. "Cheaper by the Dozen" playing in the background makes me thankful for family. My gorgeous wife lies across our love seat, beautiful with the slow rise and fall of the quilt following the lilt of her breathing. A lot has happened. None of it is on the level of scientifically groundbreaking, not even spiritually enlightening nor worthy of any attention from Alfred Nobel and his crew. Jess couldn't have said it better in her blog, "We are blessed."

Amen.

Being Afraid

Sitting around the office waiting to wrap up the evening. Our IT pro is wandering back and forth to get us set up proper and Dennis (who is worthy of a blog himself) is rambling around doing...something. It gets me thinking though about how somethings, and places, can get awful creepy. Take churches for example, specifically ones constructed prior to 1980 with stained glass. Beautiful during the day and when full of people, but something about being the only person there with the lights out has another effect. How about porcelain dolls, beautiful in one light and terrifying in another. I could keep going, but each example I want to use I find there is one common element, it's unfamiliar. The place can be somewhere you are all the time, but one change can create an unfamiliarity. I'm sure there is a ton of research on this and I'll leave that to the pros, or your own curiosity, to seek out.

Really, all that was just a lead up for my own personal experience. Yesterday I came home, and the shorter days had made it a bit darker on my walk in. I'm confident in the knowledge of my surroundings and worked my way to the bathroom, successfully navigating around furniture to a even darker hallway where I have to hunt for the door handle. Thankfully construction standards help place the doorhandle fairly quick. Then as I open the door the even darker interior of the bathroom seems to wash over me. My pulse quickened as I gasped and held my breath. A rush over my body as the hair down my neck and arms stood in attention. I hastened to flick the lights on, hitting both the lights and the fan (personal pet-peeve of mine), and paused to recover from a feeling of vertigo. After turning the fan off and laughing at myself there came a serious moment. What scared me so? Especially in my own house? The rational side goes with a combination of sensations and a lack of external references for balance. The religious side questions the prescence of something beyond the physical. The rational side then shakes a finger at my choice of entertainment, scary movies and suspensful literature, for messing with my religious side.

I brought this up with Jess and shared how suprising it was to be afraid of the dark, especially after having no issues with it in the past 15 or so years. She expressed similar feelings with coming home to a dark apartment and made a deeper revelation. The anxious feeling of being confronted with darkness didn't come from the dark itself, instead the anxiety came from WHAT IS IN the dark.

With that in mind, the IT pro has gone home and Dennis left about 15 min. ago. I've sufficiently gotten into my own head now and have to walk around the office turning off the lights and walking down one particularly long and dark hallway lined with open doors to even darker rooms. Time to go home and HULU Nickalodeon's "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

Till next time, stay in the light.

Old Folks, Felons and Babies

It is a great opportunity to meet a wide swath of people while traveling for work. First thing this morning was waiting on the Boss to be on time, always a joy. Once on the road I enjoyed games of people watching and changing lanes while trying not to hit the reflectors. Best driver of the day award goes to "Lady Styling Hair and Using Hair-Spray @ 75MPH". I couldn't decide whether to speed away from her or let her pass and possibly get stuck behind a wreck she could cause. She passed me. Also on the road was a new personal favorite part of North Carolina for me, that would be Hobbton Highway. Tons of rundown homes, farms, shops, and one amazing school that always get me itching to pull over and take pictures. Alas, a schedule to stick to, I must. Although, the "SHERIFF LINE - DO NOT CROSS" tape with a ton of cars stopped around a building was VERY tempting to ignore my schedule for.

Nursing/Assisted Living homes are not my favorite places to be. Mostly the smell, partly the gurgling sounds from the elderly asleep in the hallway, minutely the blank gaze from the staff (with exception to the activities manager with too much coffee in her system). Add three cameras, get out before the lunch rush. Seriously, don't get between ten geriatrics in wheelchairs and their lunch, you will be run over.

Next stop is the Evergreen Rehabilitation Center. Prison "lite". Still a little unsettling with everyone leaning over me while I work. Unsettling till they pointed out how interesting the nutrition facts on the back of my shirt were. Here I was waiting to get "shanked" and really I'm just providing good reading material. A rat's nest of wires brought on a strong desire to cut it all out and redo the connections; the desire was pushed down and a power supply older than me was replaced, ignoring the connections. Never mind the camera on the pole that we had no ladder tall enough with which to reach.

Tomorrow there will be youngin's that we'll have to be mindful they don't follow us up the ladders or into the attic. I'll personally have to focus and not go into playtime mode so that things can be finalized and we can move onto the next daycare and hopefully be in position to start our next install at a truck leasing company. Good weather and safe travels are being asked for and a little help on that is never turned down. Still waiting to hear back on the teaching position in High Point and holding onto hope.

In conclusion, this doll.